I was moved into the new Madonna house amid promises and commitments of better care, after the damming report the nuns aimed to create a more caring and safe environment for the children but rather than being better cared for some went onto being used in the Vaccine Trials. My Mammy had visited me on 28/5/1973 and less than a month later I would be used in the first trial. In 1973 firstly at the age of just 18mths and than at 24mths, I was used as a human guinea pig as part of the notorious vaccine trials. Where was my care? Where was my safe place?

No consent was given by my mother for this trial as far as I can ascertain and the sisters of Charity have denied giving any consent for trials. The records I received from Glaxco Smith and Kline show that the side effects I suffered from the trials caused me to be sick and it was recorded that I was distressed and cried a lot. I was described as pale and pathetic looking at this time.

It wasn’t until years later I asked the Sisters of Charity for my records and was told the records were burnt in a fire I later learned this wasn’t true and that they were in Parkhouse and I obtained my file letters, receipts, notes etc. from Parkhouse. It was all there my life in a package, but no record of the Vaccine trial or the abuse for some strange reason, I sat at my kitchen table and sobbed. This was my life, my file and even to get this I had to fight for it. I yearned and longed for a life that never was, I dared to dream of a life that maybe could have been. If only but it was too late now and life had to move on.